Jeffrey the Marketer

McCain has Joe the Plumber, allow me to have Jeffrey the Marketer.

Jeffrey isn't a symbol of hope for restaurants, he's a symptom of futility. He's looking for the silver bullet that will enable him to buy his own island, keeping his hands clean the whole time. Jeffrey is an ivory-tower marketer, all 'brand' and 'polish' and culture.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a brand and polish and culture fan, too, but I don't look down my nose at shaking hands and kissing babies. A coupon has a purpose and the right offer can modify behavior and begin new habits (habits that benefit you).

Gaining market share can be a dirty business, but Jeffrey thinks it can happen via shiny magazine ads instead of rubbing elbows with the hoi polloi.

Jeffrey thinks all you have to do is extol your virtues and present images of what the consumer wants to be. If you do that, surely the customers will eventually try your food and they'll love you and you'll have them forever.

I'm glad there are Jeffreys in this world. Given the choice of competition, especially in this economy, I want a competitor who is all about branding because my brand is me.

In this economy I want someone who relies on awareness-based advertising because I'm going to give customers an offer that puts butts in seats (my seats).

At the end of 2006, there was one restaurant for every 662 people in the US (depending on how you define 'restaurant'). Thanks to the poor economy, that number has gone up and is likely to go up further. Poor locations are first to go, but the Jeffreys of the world are next.

Go get yourself some market share from the Jeffreys near you.